Thought that I could organise freedom, how scandinavian of me. You sussed it out, didn't you?

he moved stuff out today. its the first muggy day this year, there was the first tornado watch. i cant stop listening to bjork. i cant help but think my cat oz loves this weather, maybe because he is grey, or because it makes his eyes look so green, or because he is so sinister, or because im fucking crazy. i dont have any good insight on anything today, but ive got a lot of great shoes <<<< that is what the majority of carrie bradshaw's articles would write like if she were a real woman.

Things I didnt do Today:
shower
make the bed
make breakfast
do the dishes
take out the trash
clean the cat box
go to work
sweep
pay bills
sort out student loan information
sort out student visa information


Things I did Today:
pouted in bed until 2pm
wore a brown jacket with black shoes out
went to baby powder my hair and was out of baby powder
used baking soda on hair instead...
had a smoke
spent the last of my money on a delicious sandwich
mocked a mean guy behind his back
obsessively checked the weather report
listened to bjork
picked up last nights beer bottles
unstuck gum from the wood floors

Your mother got scared and locked the door. You were only four, but lord you remember it. So now you're scared of love, I'm here to tell you loves not some fucking blood on the receiver.

Free Writtin' on the bus:

So cold, so FUCKING COLD/FUCK/FUCK/FUCK! Stop Writing! Yo hands be freazin!
Sittin at the bus stop for michigan works//people give you shitty looks.

when ya dont have a cleanex...its ok to use a sock you found in your purse.

what was the name of that fuzzy green eastern market cheese??

miss you detroit.

detroit=beautiful/shaped my garndparents/shaped my parents=me.

got my yooper grandma and my detroit grandma/guess which one says shit more.

grandaughter of a cop = bad fucking karma 4 life.

jailbird daddy + prison punk uncle = bitch face

when shit was goin down---grandaddy skipped outta town on his bike goin south, bought himself a new lady and a biker bar with his heart and his liver.

mom and dad ran off to portland without the kids, ditch 'em with a friend, come back and do it all over again.

ice + van > cop car.

ma said: every girl wants to be with a pirate but no girl wants to live on a pirate ship///ma made me want my own pirate ship.

//only pussys sell their mopeds//

so many poor kids that went off to private colleges, we fucked up. it didnt make no difference----until 6 months after dropping out.

class traitors make the best lovers, they're always trying.

i dont belong in west michigan////the dangers of a beautiful campus

cricket shakes made me fat, and then i had a love affair with the city/////////////////
/////but all love affairs die

seeing the skyline without the wires, please and thank you.

punk chick running for the bus. its ok grrrl! catch yo breath! but youre so cute when youre flushed.

liquor store boys said they felt bad for enabling me---i said its wednesday.

free packa vagina slimes for e'rbody.

ear gauged cutie, you fixed my van, then you broke my <3. ////$$$$

Laura, can't you give me some time, I got to give myself one more chance. To be the man that I know I am.

it is epically cloudy and windy as all get out today, this weather just screams great lakes and the end of winter. i am a total lake enthusiast. i cant imagine not growing up near one. my memories are full of catching frogs and turtles just to make a new friend for the day, and then being taught to throw them back to the wild because they will be happier there, and not eating the baby fishies who never had a chance. lake culture is really cool that way, lakes have such an obvious and yet complex ecosystem that it really is a good teacher in respecting nature. you cant look at lake michigan during sunrise or sunset and not fall in love with the lake. and i know that sounds like the corniest thing in the entire world, and im still not afraid to say it because it's an undeniable truth. i love my cities and sprawling metropolis wasteland that i have forced myself to think of as beautiful, but i will always need to be able to escape from that. today my city looked beautiful though, even shrouded in clouds.  i had the rare opportunity to walk around during a weekday today. which is great if you ever get to do that, i saw some punk teenagers hanging out outside my local coffee place and a mom pushing her kids in a two seater stroller that looked right out of the 80's. i saw corporate asshole looking busy and i saw hip kids trying to look poor smoking nice cigarettes and poor kids looking hip sharing cigarettes. i saw a bum, a lot of bank security and cop trying to be sneaky, i saw trash swirling in the wind outside a fancy resteraunt. i want to remember it that way always. im waking up earlier again, im sitting outside more, im positive.

like a liar at a witch trial, you look good for your age.

im getting so fat. its gross. i've just been eating crappy crappy food and sitting at a desk around 50 hours a week. it sucks how we are living in this sedentary society, where working is just sitting at your computer or desk and feeling completely isolated from  everyone else around you. you sit there and you munch on candy because you need some kind of endorphins to get you through the 8-10 hours of fluorescent hell you live in 5 days a week. and to top it off the same society that breeds our sedentary lifestyle also puts a huge amount of pressure on women to be so thin. i mean i totally play into it too, i am neurotically sitting in the palm of beauty magazines' hands, drinking cosmos that have more calories than a hamburger, trying to still feel as glamorous as they want me to be.  so i have decided to cut my 11 hour day into an 8 hour day and go get my membership at the gym back. which sucks because gyms are sick...tubby old pervs watching your tatas jiggle around on the elliptical while you are stuck staring at wonder woman's ass in front of you. if you have ever been to a gym you know what im talking about. there is always one woman there who is sooo fit you cant help but hate her, she is effortlessly running about 1million miles while simultaneously flipping through fitness magazine, or even worse, home and garden. she could get off and give you $100 and rescue a puppy all in the same 5 minutes and part of you would still hate her. well maybe not all of you, or even most of you, maybe youre not all bitter bitches.

lets see, something positive?
hmmm...well i get to watch jennifer's body tonight for the 20th time. i dont care who you are, if you dont get why that movie is so funny/great we cant reeeaaallly be friends.  I would begin a super long rant about why it is so good but i would never want to spoil a drop of the pure gold that that film is, you'll just have to watch it...
and i also found a great drinking game online last night to go with arrested development, it was tested out as well and i would say it gets the job done. one key part of the game drink whenever anyone says "banana stand" or banana, and the one i added which worked well, was anytime somebody drinks. this last part was great in pretty much any scene with lucille.
Later this week i get to see one of the loves of my life at a drag version of wicked. so hyped to go to that and have some drinks with him! i only wish i could chill with him all weekend, it is kind of rough having some of your very best friends live over 2 hours away. I seriously believe that those friends know me better in some aspects than anyone in my current town. I have never really found anyone else i have clicked so much with outside of that group of friends and i really hope when we start with the big move to TO that i will see them even more. OH and more good news! my partner took a test to see if he would qualify for an open work permit to canada and he totally does, so i really feel like a big worry has been lifted off my shoulder. i feel like things are already in motion, if i dont end up in toronto then for some other big change in my life. i feel like 2012 is going to really hold a lot for me, that or ill just die in december with everyone else on earth....

I've been for a walk on a winter's day I'd be safe and warm if I was in L.A California Dreamin' on such a winter's day

im so conceited. i feel like having a blog is the most conceited thing a person can do. who gives a fuck what im writing about? i guess ill just write to write.

im getting antsy to leave this town. im getting antsy in my life. im feeling like crap about it, everyone around me is awesome and im just acting like a winy baby. i have more than i even deserve and i cant stop wondering what more i could have somewhere else. maybe it was because i just had a birthday. i feel old, even though im not, i feel like i havent had enough experiences yet even though i have.

its snowing a lot here. it wasnt even cold this week. 2 days ago i went to the beach. i had my shoes off, it was awesome, now i need to wear boots outside. this year is off to a weird start...