in the words of johnny hobo and the freight trains "here's to our lives being meaningless, and how beautiful it is, because freedom doesn't have a purpose" i am feeling rather meaningless, another day of bullshit work to pay off loans that i acquired in a futile attempt to get a degree at a bullshit college. Not so much identifying with the second half of that lyric in which our meaningless lives are quite beautiful, maybe tomorrow i can identify, however tomorrow is a 16 hour work day for this girl, so i am highly doubting that. However one day will come around soon enough I guess.
OK so first blog post...Reader Warning:
1) i am sorry i do not give a shit about proper grammer
2) also do not give two shits about cussing
3) i will probably always have cats walking on my keyboard while im typing this so forgive the typos, that is due to oz and riot.
4) I dont care about proper capitalization, i capitalize whenever i feel LIKE it.
5) My minor was in english lit so keep how awfully written this blog is in the back of your head and then think about how useless such a minor is.
I am currently wishing i had a martini, if i had a martini right now life might seem a little more beautiful, or at least a gin and tonic in a martini glass, at the very least some gin and lemon juice in a glorious red keg cup. however, even though it is noon on a sunday, which for the last year meant mimosa's and free tacos at the bar for "church" i can not drink at noon on sunday today. I now get to go into work at 3:30 until 11:30. And work entails keeping hormonal and emotionally scared teenage girls from killing each other and themselves. which some may find rewarding, however im not really into mood altering pharmaceutical drugs for kids so there are some moral issues im dealing with in that regard.
So this morning instead i am going to content myself with some loud as fuck music, cute as fuck kittens, and brunch, a lost art of cuisine. I am also toying with the idea of deleting my facebook. All of its security issues are scary as all get out, however i am addicted to "social" networking as much as folks are addicted to nicotine, if only it had the side effects of sick teeth, fingernails, and cancer which halted my smoking habits early. But facebook is really freaking me out. My friend teh other day proposed how crazy we would go if everyone's thoughts were shared with everyone else's thoughts as if your brain was a newsfeed, and i can't quite get that idea out of my head. Because it would be much more disturbing than facebook feeds. The issue I have with facebook (which I myself am guilty of too) is how you try to cram your whole identity int oa status or a profile. Yu may not think your doing it but everytime you comment or update anything you either consciously or subconsiously are trying to display a persona which through the internet (THIS BLOG INCLUDED) seems a little dishonest, bull shit, and fake. As I stated im including myself and this blog into that musing, however that was a big motivator to start a blog. To try and see how true and real to myself i can be via the internet. Im guessing i can be about 70% real, but i guess we shall see...
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